Starts at around 1:23:00 in the download.

The bachelor: Mutt.

The bachelorettes:

1. The biotch from Hell, Attila the Hun, Satan
2. Had a nasty, evil giggle, but she has a degree from Harvard, has a $150,000-a-year job, and is great in bed.
3. Skippy

Questions:

• #1: If you were a vegetable, how would you show me a good time?
• #2: If you were on a date, how would you show me a good time?
• #3: If you were a candy bar, what candy bar would you be?
• #3: If I were to land in a big pool of chocolate, how would you clean me off?

Answers:

• #1: “I would be a watermelon, so I could beat you repeatedly over the forehead.”
• #2: “I'd take you out to a movie, and then to dinner, and then stop by someplace private.”
• #3: “I'd be a Snickers, 'cause they're so fluffy!”
• #3: “You're weird, girl!”

Results:

• Bachelorette #1 was sent on a one-way trip to China, where she would learn the new and interesting technique of water torture to compliment her already-present resume of slashing, burning, maiming, raping, and otherwise obliterating towns and other things.
• Bachelorette #2 got sent into the trapdoor.
• Mutt picked Bachelorette #3 and was horrified to find out it was Skippy.

Starts at around 2:46:47 in the download.

Read by: Hump.

“The Musical Contract”
I was overloaded when I read that a Pawpet Show member was recently discovered by the Usual Places talent scout. I was reading Fur Nation Magazine, and the cover story was about Java Frog. He was singing “Bad Touch”. When the talent scout overheard him, he was immediately signed to a one-century contract, and whisked away into a stinky recording studio in the cuddly side of New York. There, Java was asked to sing an original song titled, “Give Me Tummy Or I'll Yiff You”. Was Java ever surprised when he discovered his back-up singer was Jim Carrey? He was even more surprised when he found out Loish was in the studio next door singing “Get Out of My Egg Timer” with Skippy as his back-up. Java shouted “I see dead people!” He continued, “I never thought we would ever be signed to a contract after Mutt barfed on the show with Loish's mom. Be sure to look for these songs on the newest Pawpet album, “Lick”, available at Virgin MegaStore and Fair Villa Adult Toy Store.