Funday Pawpet Show

Starts at around 2:00:31 in the download.

Mutt: Hi, everybody! And we have a very special guest with us tonight. The one-and-only Emilio Esteves, yay!!!!… Are you Emilio's assistant?
Jason Marsden: No. I'm Jason Marsden. I'm…
Mutt: Jason Marsden? Oh, wait, Jason Marsden?
JM: Yes.
Mutt: I've heard of you before!
JM: Yes, yes, yes!
Mutt: You won the Super Bowl last year!
JM: No, that wasn't me.
Mutt: Oh, um… Oh wait, you're the guy who does the cartoon voices!
JM: Bingo!
Mutt: Fantastic! Welcome to the Funday Pawpet Show!
JM: Thank you. Thank you very much.
Mutt: What are some of the things that you've done?
JM: Well, most people know me as Max, Goofy's son in A Goofy Movie, and I am Tino Tonitini, on Disney's new hit cartoon on Saturday morning, The Weekenders…
Mutt: Oh, that's a new one!
JM: That is a new one. Yes, do you wake up Saturday mornings that early?
Mutt: Nope.
JM: No? Friday night partying a little too hard?
Mutt: Usually wake up around the crack of three.
JM: At the crack of three? It's Saturday afternoon, then.
Mutt: It's a dog's life.
JM: Wow. It sure is. My goodness.
Mutt: What else have you done?
JM: I've also done a lot of on-camera stuff, some TV shows, some stuff that you're probably too busy to watch, you know, Friday night, Step By Step is a live show I did.
Mutt: Oh, with Suzanne Sommers!
JM: Yes, you know Suzanne Sommers. Good…there, right?
Mutt: Right on! Yeah! She's always hot. So tell me, do you and her ever have dinner together?
JM: No, but you know, I used to walk by her dressing room all the time, and she would always wear - on Friday nights, on tape nights - this beautiful terrycloth robe, I knew she wasn't wearing anything underneath. And I always had this fantasy when I would walk by her dressing room, and she would sort of…
Mutt: (pants ecstatically)
JM: Yeah, exactly… stop me, call me in, and have me be her human thighmaster.
Mutt: Whoah, “human thighmaster”! Cool, what other cartoon voices have you done?
JM: Well, I did another Disney cartoon called Schnookums and Meat, where I was the voice of Schnookums, who's a cat.
Mutt: Cool! Cat! (barks repeatedly)
JM: Exactly. He had an adversary, Meat, who's a dog kinda like yourself.
Mutt: That's right.
JM: Yeah, and he was a kind of dumb dog, kinda like yourself.
Mutt: What? Dogs rule, cats drool!
JM: Cats drool?
Mutt: Well, maybe some way around… What else have you done?
JM: What else have I done? Well, I bought a house a couple of years ago, I crashed my car… is any of this the kind of stuff you want to hear?
Mutt: You crashed a car into your house?
JM: No, I didn't crash my car into my house, I crashed my car in Hollywood in the rain.
Mutt: Uh-oh. But you were okay, right?
JM: I'm okay. I escaped unscathed. But I did knock down a light pole, a Hollywood monument.
Mutt: Ah, cool. And they put up a sign that said “Jason was here!”
JM: Jason was here, Jason crashed here, yes.
Mutt: Um, well hey, have you done any other cartoons, any, like, direct-to-video movies?
JM: Direct-to-video movies? Like, uh… the Lion King sequel?
Mutt: (gasp) Really?
JM: Yes.
Mutt: Wow! I've heard of that movie!
JM: You did hear about it, but you didn't see it? Everyone else has.
Mutt: Well, they don't allow dogs in the theater. You know the “No dogs allowed” sign?
JM: It's straight to video. You can go to Target and buy your own copy.
Mutt: They won't let me in Target, either.
JM: The won't let you into Target, you have to pretend you're a seeing-eye dog.
Mutt: Ah… Okay, I'm on my way.
JM: Yep. You're on your way?
Mutt: Cool.
JM: Alright, just pretend that you know Braille…
Mutt: Alright.
JM: Now, I have a question for you.
Mutt: Yes.
JM: Why do they have Braille at the drive-up ATMs?
Mutt: Hmm… Good question.
JM: Good question, yeah.
Mutt: I don't know. Why do the call it “cargo” when it goes by ship, and “shipping” when it goes by car?
JM: I don't know. All these things, we have to figure out, I suppose.
Mutt: If a vacuum cleaner sucks, is that good or bad?
JM: Well, if a vacuum cleaner blows, too, that could be good.
Mutt: Whoa!!! Excellent, excellent. So, okay, I've got some questions for ya. What's your favorite movie?
JM: My favorite movie of all time is Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
Mutt: Good one!
JM: Thank you, thank you, yes.
Mutt: And, uh, I guess your favorite actor would be…
JM: My favorite actor? I have so many. I like Jim Carey… like Jim Carey?
Mutt: I love Jim!
JM: Absolutely Jim Carey. Robin Williams, I like a lot of comedians… who also pass off as really good dramatic actors.
Mutt: Oh, cool.
JM: Yes. Do you have any favorite actors?
Mutt: Um, I love Johnny Depp.
JM: Johnny Depp rocks!
Mutt: Yep, he never plays the same role twice.
JM: Exactly.
Mutt: Also like Michael Keaton a lot.
JM: Good. Batman!
Mutt: That's one of my favorites. Multiplicity was one of my favorite roles.
JM: Oh, wasn't that great?
Mutt: Yes.
JM: Directed by Harold Ramis, who was in what movie?
Mutt: Star Wars!
JM: No, try again. It was sort of science fiction-esque. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd…
Mutt: I quit. I give up.
JM: Sounds like “most thrusters…“
Mutt: Oh yeah! Ghostbusters!
JM: Ghostbusters, there you go!
Mutt: Cool. Okay, what other questions… If you were stranded on a desert island with one person and one item, what would it be?
JM: That person would be Julianne Moore, and the item would be a bottle of Johnson's baby oil. Mutt: (whoop) Baby! Excellent. You got that, taking notes?
JM: Baby oil, yes.
Mutt: Right. What's your favorite drink?
JM: My favorite drink is… I guess, milk.
Mutt: Milk. Okay, what's your favorite restaurant?
JM: Favorite restaurant… Fratello's in Studio City.
Mutt: Okay. Let's see… boxers or briefs?
JM: You know what they say, like uh… thongs are like dental floss?
Mutt: Yah…
JM: I actually wear dental floss.
Mutt: (laughs) Alright, what else, let me think… what is your favorite phrase?
JM: Favorite phrase?
Mutt: Yes.
JM: I always call people “groovy chick.” I'm like “Hey, groovy chick,” even if you're not a chick.
Mutt: Cool, okay, I call people “biotch.”
JM: “Biotch,” alright! You're a cool biotch, groovy chick!
Mutt: Thank you. Uh, what else, what else, what else…